The Building of Reserves

7:06 AM Unknown 0 Comments


Reserve: to make arrangements so that you will be able to use or have (something, such as a room, table, or seat) at a later time - to keep (something) for a special or future use - to choose to do (something) at a later time.  "Reserve." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 10 Feb. 2016.
Reserve is an important word.  As you can see above, it's defined as something in which you make arrangements to have for later.  Something you want or require being tagged for later use, so when you need it, it's there.  The idea behind reserving something is to give you a security around the idea that I don't need to think or worry about the reserved item as I have already made plans to have it there waiting for me when it's needed.

Reserves can also be looked at from the perspective of having so much of something that there are no needs around that thing.  Lets take a simple example of toilet paper.  This is one item we use daily, and something we need to buy all the time.  Think about when you run out...  as we tend to do from time to time.  Think about how much head space and energy is required to remember to correct that, and if you forget to remedy it how much more energy you expel at the lack of it.  This is just a simple thing but we have all felt the impact of not having it.

Picture source: http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/

Now take this same scenario and instead of buying what you need for a few weeks, what would it feel like to have a years worth of toilet paper?  Compare the running out, to the idea of I don't have to think about this for a whole year.  What does having that reserve create for you?  I know for myself I was feeling like it was one thing off my list.  I can let it go and focus on more important things.  I have so much that my need of it becomes a non-issue; I have a years worth.  I may put it in my calendar to check closer to the years end, but I don't need to give it any consideration or energy for at least a year.  It's a freeing exercise.

Lets now consider what a reserve would look like in terms of love, friendship, opportunity, knowledge and finances.  These are pretty big areas.  Each of these have a high importance in our lives and many times we run these areas without reserves.  We feel drained by them because we don't have enough in reserve, they are a constant thought or work in progress.  What would it feel like to have a reserve of money?  What would it feel like to have enough that you didn't need to worry about it anymore?  For many this is an area of strain and strong feelings.

What small changes could you put in place today to build up a reserve in this one area?  Perhaps you could look at your finances and really know where your money is going?  Become completely aware of how much you spend on certain areas of your life.  Just get curious about why there isn't a reserve here currently.  Is it that you spend a lot on coffee, tea, going out (guilty, guilty, guilty) and if so can you put in one small rule to start going every other day and the money you would have spent on those items will now go in a jar or an account and become your reserve?  Is it that you have hit the ceiling of what you can earn and can't squeeze anymore from it?  Could you maybe look at some cost-effective online courses (i.e. Udemy, Coursera) to better your skills to give you more reserve in areas of knowledge and opportunity so that you have more choice about your employment and salary?

The idea is you create an awareness around important areas in your life and find small measurable ways to create more surplus (reserves) in those areas.  It starts with awareness, pausing to understand where you are and getting curious about how you'd like to proceed.  You'll know instinctively where you are running a deficit.  Just listen to your thoughts and feel your body when you think of the areas I listed above.  Change won't come in one big swoop; it comes in the form of small steps, moving forward.  Create reserves and, in turn, ease the drain of energy you feel in your daily lives.


0 comments:

Discovery of Self and the Awareness Within

10:42 AM Unknown 0 Comments


Prior to 2016 ringing in, at a coffee night with a few friends, I said that my focus for the new year was going to be 'me' work. 

I try not to succumb to the story I say to myself at this point in my life, which spews off in some fashion as:

How the hell can you go through almost 40 years of your life and not be able to answer the simple question of, "What do you like to do?"
Well frankly I couldn't.  I have spent the majority of my life helping those around me.  My parents, brothers, friends and in later years my children and husband.  These are people I love dearly and I derive great satisfaction in making their life better, wherever I can.  I have done a lot of volunteer work as well; who better to help than those who are in need?  I say this not to toot my own horn, but more to say, I didn't factor in much.  That was of my own choosing.  Not that I wanted to deprive myself, more so I just felt like I was happy when others were too.

I have since had a shift in my thinking.  I am soon to finish my training as a Life Coach who specializes in ADHD and in doing so we needed to go through the process of Personal Transformation.  I've mentioned it before but it truly has been a transformative process.

I have learned some important things about myself.  These things I've learned are derived from my own life experiences, which is so powerful, because it is my own evidence.  I don't have to try and believe it, this new perspective, because to deny it is to deny my own life experience.

This change has also allowed me to see what I am tolerating in my life which drains my energy.  I have an awareness  about my lack of boundaries in some areas of my life and the rigid boundaries I have in place in others.

And so in the midst of this shift I ask myself again, "What is it I like to do, independent from my family, friends or 'shoulds'?  I decided to dedicate 2016 to my journey in exploring that question.  So many times those of us inclined to nurture and support forget about the person doing the nurturing and supporting, ourselves.

I will say that thus far this has been a HUMBLING experience.  I feel pretty vulnerable trying the new things I decided to start with.  I am a perfectionist, there is no room for that in the learning of piano for the first time.  I have high expectations of myself, there is no room for that while throwing clay on a spinning wheel.  I am hard on myself, there is no room for that on the journey of self-discovery.



While I am learning the answer to my question I also see that I need to hold a space of compassion for myself as I do for others.  I need to have patience for my own 'failures' as I learn something new, as I would for my children when they learn something new.

Most of all I feel that learning how to pause  and sit in my old stories, while not taking them on as the truth, will be my biggest work.  Being aware and creating a new story from the old.


0 comments: