Homeschooling & ADHD


I have been an on again, off again homeschooling parent for the last 7 years.  We started homeschooling when my now 15 year old started Grade 3.  He was academically doing okay with most of his marks landing in the 'B' range, if that truly matters in Grade 2, but he was struggling physically and emotionally with the school setting.

During his Grade 2 year we received a handful of diagnosis, ADHD being one of them and truly the most relevant to his life today.  At that time I had been volunteering in the classroom, reading with the children and it was apparent that my busy child was like a caged animal in this environment. Up and out of his seat constantly, easily distracted by any movement or sound, pale and exhausted by the demands on his energy...  he just looked ready to jump out of his own skin.

After many talks with him about what he was feeling - anxiety, overwhelm, pain (from the noise of a crazy room), and physical discomfort from having to be still so much - we decided to explore homeschooling.  It really was a foreign concept to me as all I could think about was, am I making a difficult situation worse?

To answer a few questions you may have about this:
  • Yes, we did ensure a healthy diet of whole foods and limited sugar and no dyes

  • Yes, he is on supplements like fish oils, B complex, magnesium and probiotics (not a suggestion for others as I'm not a medical professional, this is just what we do)

  • Yes, we have had numerous sleep studies and as is typical for children with an ADHD diagnosis he has irregular sleep patterns.  We manage his sleep with a solid bed time and when he was young a bedtime routine.  As directed by our Developmental Pediatrician he uses melatonin at night to help sleep onset.  We use a minimum dosage as more is NOT better with this.  We are aware that there is some conflicting information on the use of this with children and yes we have weighed this information against that of other prescribed medications for sleep and have decided this poses the least risk.  Sleep is too vital to just leave it and without sleep his symptoms are exacerbated.

  • Yes, we have had a recent assessment done to reconfirm the presence of ADHD in my son's life.

So with that out of the way we have done what we can to ensure that indeed he has this diagnosis and anything that can be done to better the situation for him has been done.  In coaching we would call this the 'Basic Needs' and we have ensured they've been met.

https://cocreatingcare.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/maslowhierarchyofneeds.jpg
So what was left was figuring out who our child was...  unfortunately we don't always know this.  We seem to become a little disconnected from the WHO of our children once they enter school life.  What was important for me with the basics being covered, was to make sure our son reached his fullest potential with his self-esteem in place.

Homeschooling in that first year was figuring out his needs as a learner, what his strengths were and areas of difficulty to hammer out.  ADHD is a challenge of disinterest and so this first year was hands on, interactive and had very little sitting.  I needed to recreate what learning was for him and be willing to let go of my expectations and receive my child right where he was.

Some interesting discoveries came to the fore front quickly.  He was floating through school undetected with memory issues and was managing to compensate but it gave us an unrealistic understanding of him.  He was doing well in spelling, so said the school, but when I got him home I realized he had a problem understanding how to spell.  He was so clever though that he would remember the spelling list for the brief period he needed it and then it would flush out after never making it's way to long term memory.  I sensed he struggled with Dysgraphia, so we had tutoring with an Orton-Gillingham tutor for a year.  Without bringing him home we would have missed this from an early age and being able to help him like we did would have been lost.

Writing hurt his hand.  We had to explore other ways to manage information, while building this skill.  So we did A LOT of talking together about content.  He is a very intelligent child, he just needs to express it using an area of strength.  Without this ability to discuss content we would have lost a valuable method for receiving and learning information and build his self-esteem.  We still did writing but not to the extent that he was feeling any prolonged discomfort.  We did lots of fine motor activities to build this up so he could manage more with his hands as time when on.

He needed to work in sprints.  20 minutes of work and 15 minutes of activity to reignite his brain, especially for work like math which was and continues to be a challenge for him.

My child's memory is a huge challenge for him when learning uninteresting things, like math facts.  Getting things into long-term memory requires deep work with the subject and tackled from multiple modes for it to be sticky.  My child's memory is amazing, when he is truly interested by the subject.  He is not being difficult, he has ADHD and this is to be expected.

The list goes on and on but none of this would have been understood if not for taking the risk to home educate.  I know many families choose this to alleviate the stress, anxiety and struggle for their children and it is doable.  What it requires is a release of our expectations of our children and receiving them where they are.  Understanding how they learn best by watching for failure (and learning from it) and success (and building on it).  Being flexible and trusting that your child will help you find the way.  Asking questions like, "What about this is easy for you?" or "What about this is hard for you?", will help you to understand your child more and create the team environment your child needs to flourish.

School as we experienced it is not necessarily a 'bad' thing.  What it is though, is one dynamic on learning that for children with ADHD may not work.  These children are uniquely wired and need a 'unique to them', solution.  The purpose in this all is to say, you can teach your ADHD child.  You will have days of fear, frustration, or self-doubt and that is normal.  Your child will make you a little insane at times but you will learn how to better manage that with practice and knowing when to throw in the towel and try again another day.  It will take effort and a willingness to learn daily and to try and try again.

Without this experience I don't think my son, now finishing grade 9 in highschool, would have been so close to us and willing to communicate in an open and honest way about his struggles today.  He has the willingness to keep on trying and know it will be okay as that was his model growing up as a homeschooled child.  He still struggles and his Executive Function challenges are more pronounced as the demands are that much more in the higher grades.  What we have though is communication and the ability to know that we can figure it out.  He also has a firm belief he can do anything because we have told him that from the get go and caught it at home and made him aware of it when we saw him accomplish a difficult for him task.

So if you're considering this journey, just know, it's doable and for us it was invaluable.
ADD

The Value of Play... For Adults.


We hear a lot of messages in the media about the importance of play for children.  As an Early Childhood Educator, in a previous life, I give that a big, HELL YEAH!  Play is the work of children.  Here is a snip of information you will read in terms of why play is important for children:

Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development.4–6 It is through play that children at a very early age engage and interact in the world around them. Play allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles, sometimes in conjunction with other children or adult caregivers.7–14 As they master their world, play helps children develop new competencies that lead to enhanced confidence and the resiliency they will need to face future challenges.7,10,15 Undirected play allows children to learn how to work in groups, to share, to negotiate, to resolve conflicts, and to learn self-advocacy skills.7,10,11,16 - http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182

Pretty powerful stuff isn't it?

My question to you is, can you think back to when play stopped being a valued part of your life?  Even as I type this, I am trying to think back to when play was left off my dance card; it was left off and has been off for a very long time.

We get into highschool.  Then go to some post-secondary institution or jump into work directly after.  Perhaps find our significant other or travel the globe in search of ourselves and the world.  Whatever it is, we start to 'become' adults and learn in a more experiential way.  We make a mistake and derive information from that, we blunder at work and adjust our behaviour or conversely we do well and are praised and continue on that path.

Learning becomes about books, life, work and family.  We may have been lucky to hold on to or develop some hobbies along the way but those are seen as a little selfish and not something that has a permanent place for most people.  I realize - I generalize here but you get the point - we stop playing because we fail to see the benefit of play in our adult world.

What stops adults from playing?  Judgment, embarrassment, risk, it requires trust...  and perhaps it just doesn't seem valuable.

Here are some points about why play is so important for EVERYONE:
  1. Play is not anarchy.  Watch children playing at the park, it is organized and the members (for the most part) follow the flow. It forms relationships!
  2. Play has rules.  Without rules the play makes no sense, with rules everyone can part-take and be creative.  
  3. Play is divergent.  Meaning, it goes in many directions and is creative.  It is ever changing but the group will continue to build on it because it is fun and has an energy of its own.  
  4. Play is all about exploration.  If you were to ask a child if they were happy with the end result of their play session I'm sure you would get some very odd looks.  They are entrenched in the process, the exploration of the play.  While play is organized... "I will be the doctor, you have the broken leg and I'll fix it...", it is not edited or focused on the end result.  It is organic and unplanned.
  5. Play allows you to try on roles.  When children role play a possible scenario they are 'trying it on' to see what it could be without risk of having to assume the role in real life.  It also helps them problem solve a scenario in their life and find a solution in a creative way.
  6. Play teaches emotion.  It helps us to get into various emotional states.  "Okay you're the Mom and you're happy I'm back from school...".  Empathy is learned through play.  How many business owners wouldn't love to get in the mindset of their customer?
  7. Play helps form relationships.  Without play we have a missing link for connection.  When we take the risk of being vulnerable with another human being through creativity we feel a stronger bond and where there is trust and friendship, play becomes seamless.
  8. Play allows for mastery.  When we allow ourselves the chance to play with an idea or a skill-set we in turn start on the path of mastery or excellence.
As a YOUR Coach, we play.  Yes coaching is playing in a sense.  It is the time for YOU to focus only on YOU and explore possibilities.  To play with ideas in a safe and supportive environment, where judgment does not exist and what 'could be' is king.  This is your sandbox and the only limitations are the ones you apply to yourself.  It is my job to help you get out of the 'adult' role we fall into and look again at the wonder of what could be and make plans to get there.


When we are allowed to play, we are allowed to be creative, to explore and not be so focused on the end result but in the learning that takes place in the space between.  Play is not only the work of children it is the vital, lost, underappreciated work of adults too.




ADHD

Parents of teens UNITE! We Need Our Own Mastermind Group!


I am a parent of two children, a son who is soon to be 15 and a daughter who is 10 years old.  It is a busy time.  Gone are the days when I can fix things with a simple hug and a kiss on the 'owie'.  The challenges these two young people face are all consuming.  These are the problems of becoming 'adults'.


They face social challenges of fitting in or not fitting in, they are pulled and distracted by various forms of media, they deal with the daily barrage of negative influence and sincerely trying to make the best choices they can.  And in the wake of all this serious business you have fretting parents just wanting things to be okay for their child and feeling a lack of control around the whole big mess.

This seems to be a time of transition for the family unit on the whole.  Children pushing up against the boundaries we have in place to be able to feel independent.  This constant tension is so hard for parents.  We can look back at our own break-away from the nest and think, 'yeah, I remember that', but it doesn't make it any easier being on the receiving end.  As our teens push against the boundaries they also peel away from us for a time.  It's such an uncomfortable change.

This change causes conflict at times as well.  I know in my house it has been the source of hard feelings and regret at times.  There just isn't a manual for this stuff, especially in the heat of the moment.  We get it wrong a lot and it seems like we learn along the way.  We fail.  We evaluate.  We try again.  This cycle is truly the same one we use in all areas of our life.

So what can we do?  It seems like once your children reach a certain age the lights go out in the community.  I try signing my son up for programs only to have them cancelled due to lack of interest.  Or even just trying to find him something new is a challenge...  it seems like once your child reaches pre-teen and on, you are just going this stuff alone.

How do we as parents get support?  How do we talk to our children in a constructive way and still keep healthy boundaries in place?  Who do parents of teens turn to, when the lights go out in the community?

I think we need to turn to each other.  Reach out to one another and say, 'Hey!...  this really sucks for me and I'm stuck, any ideas?'.  When we have this shared understanding we start asking each other questions...  What do you do when...  How did you handle ABC? 

Perhaps what's needed is a Parental Mastermind Group?  A time where we all get together in a non-judgemental space where we can be proactive and supportive of one another during this challenging time.  We can brainstorm and experiment...  As a coach I can provide questions to invoke the process of finding a way through the mud.  What say you?  Is this needed?
Attitude

Discomfort is more than a feeling, it's a sign of change...


With change underway in a big way over here I have come up against one many or two mental road blocks along the way.  Many times I was really thankful for the blockers because they allowed me to stay stuck.

When we stay stuck we don't have to progress forward.  We get to hang on to our old beliefs and stay 'comfortable'.  Change can be a really irritating, uncomfortable, world altering time.

Pema Chodron, is an American, Tibetan Buddhist and an ordained nun. For those of you who are not familiar with her she is one of the most down to earth, has 'been there and done that' women on the planet.  Yes she is a Buddhist nun but she has also been married twice, has children and grandchildren and so in her own way understands what the populous goes through on a daily basis.

She recorded this 4 minute video (found below) about change and by how we speak, act and think we create our own possibilities (good, bad or ugly).  How to make friends with the discomfort of change, so change can happen.  Video quality isn't great due to a power outage they had at the time but the message is sound.


Many times, coaching brings about that discomfort she talks about here.  It is in that space though that we take the boundaries we have surrounded ourselves in and help them to expand.

Think of a baby learning to walk.  They get up and hang on, with wobbly legs, and take a step, and then two, three and so it goes.  Along the way they fall and it hurts, in their uncomfortable state though, they receive love and care and encouragement to continue.  Before you know it that toddler is off and running, and everyone else just needs to KEEP UP.

It seems though, the longer we exist on this planet, the more stuck we can become.  We get really uncomfortable with that forward movement and our ability lean INTO it.  What I would ask you is:   

How would your life be different if you were okay with being uncomfortable?
Coaching helps you to explore the barriers to change you have in place.  It empowers you, comforts you and motivates you to seek out the change you have been avoiding for so long.  So that you too will be that running toddler everyone is trying to keep up with!

-What would your life look like if you could get to work on time?
-What would it look like if you could makes steps towards getting a business going?
-What would it look like if you could honour yourself and your need for growth, as a stay at home parent?
-What would it look like as a person with ADHD if you could work WITH your unique brain wiring, rather than fight it?

All this to explore and more.  Like the quote below suggests our brain really wants to keep us safe from things which make us fearful/uncomfortable.  Pause and realize that not all discomfort is something to be avoided.  When we dig deep and find the courage to say, "I want more...", we arrive closer to our own truths.


ADHD

Coaching Conversations ~ What can the Client expect?


Coaching isn't new per se, but it doesn't have roots like a therapy model.  So when you hear the word, coaching, we infuse it with our own flavour of what that could mean.

Coaching is centred around conversation.  I just heard all the introverts groan inwardly...  I am one, so the thoughts of that initially may have me (and you) running for the hills!  Fear not my friends.  This conversation is a structured, purposeful and meaningful dialog.  This is not the conversation you typically have with others.



This conversation has a start, middle and end.  The entire time is spent working on what YOU, the client, decides to bring to the table that day.  YOU set the agenda and can change that at any point, it's all about YOU baby!  We can set long term goals and chart a path to getting there or work on whatever ever arises during that week or a combination of both.  I keep the compass pointed in the place you need most.

This will be your time to problem solve, make plans, look at barriers to those plans, figure out why things may not be working for you right now, learn about yourself, and chart a new path or an old one more confidently.

Many wonder what can you be coached around?  This is a hard one to answer as anything goes.  If you have a hard time keeping your house organized or clutter free, we can work on that.  If you are having some barriers to eating well and establishing a plan, (Psst I am also a Certified Dr. Sears Health Coach), we can work on that.  Perhaps you just don't know what is happening with you right now, but you know you need change because things just don't FEEL right.

For my ADHD friends out there...  I can help you to understand about YOUR flavour of ADHD and how it manifests in your life.  So many times we try and fit a square peg into a round hole...  Well through coaching you can understand better about who YOU are and how that brilliance can shine through without SHAME or JUDGMENT.

What this is not is therapy.  We don't go back to the why of things...  that is more of a mental health model and if we find that's needed in our coaching sessions I'll support you through connecting with the right person to address that as well.  Many times clients will take a coaching break to work with a mental health professional and then come back and get their plans underway.  Again being human is individual and complex, there is no shame in seeking that which you need most.

I hold you accountable in the way you decide and I do call you on your stuff!  Many times the things we don't do are the things that require going back to the drawing board a number of times.  That is okay and part of the growth you'll experience through coaching.

This is work and will be uncomfortable at times, I am here to support you with that.  You are responsible for the outcome.  Many times this makes people shy away from that idea as it's a bold statement.  That's what it means to be 'coach-able', being ready to do the work required to meet your own change and goals as you see them.

My role is to create a safe and compassionate place.  To help you navigate these new waters with a hand to hold and to help shine a light on the things we at times neglect to focus on.  I am here for you and you alone.

If you want to experience what this feels or sounds like just contact me at amy.may@breakingbarrierscoaching.com for more information.

More on coaching in the days and weeks to come! 
ADHD

The Down Low on Coaching - What is it?


When you hear or think of the word 'coach' or 'coaching', what comes to mind?  Do you think of all the coaches that you've had in your life who taught you how to dance, play hockey, play chess...  Perhaps you think of a teacher you've had during your life that made a big impact.  We all define coaching differently.  The word triggers many different thoughts and emotions based on our experiences around it.

My husband for example, is one of the best sport coaches of young people that I've ever been witness to.  I say this as a point of fact and not flattery.  He helps them develop to the best of their ability, supports their progress and setbacks, gives information that is personalized for the individual and uses humour and positivity to encourage and empower.  When those children think on what a coach is to them it's my hope they think of him and his positive impact on their life.

Somewhere along the line we've all been coached in some capacity.  So what then does Life Coaching look like and how does it differ from that of other types of coaching, like those mentioned above?

At the end of my training I will be Certified Life Coach who specializes in coaching clients with ADHD.  I am completing my training with the ADD Academy which is an International Coaching Federation (ICF) accredited program.  In completing this course I will have tackled 239 hours of study and coaching practice.  It is indeed a comprehensive program that takes the care of others very seriously, as do I.  Here is an definition of what coaching means as laid out by the ICF:

ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential, which is particularly important in today’s uncertain and complex environment. Coaches honor the client as the expert in his or her life and work and believe every client is creative, resourceful and whole. http://coachfederation.org/need/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=978 
As a coach who also specializes in ADHD I help clients understand their unique brain wiring and how to work within that.  To discover strengths and values they weren't aware of.

Coaching is a relationship.  I am your safe space, the listening ear and the witness of your unique talents and strengths.  The difference between this type of coaching and the sports coach is, while I may share some nuggets here and there, YOU are the expert on you.  My role here is to help you clear the noise and confusion.  Traditional coaching has you as the student learning a skill.  The difference here is that YOU are the expert, what we do is bring an awareness around that so you can employ skills you weren't aware of.

So many times when we go looking for help, well meaning people (myself included), have instructed.  I am not the person who provides instruction; coaching in this capacity helps YOU to arrive at the answers you have questions around.  It's only when we can be AWARE and CLEAR that we can start making plans for ourselves.  I help you attain that clarity.  My purpose as your coach is to help:

- Discover, clarify, and align with what the client wants to achieve
- Encourage client self-discovery
- Elicit client-generated solutions and strategies
- Hold the client responsible and accountable
This process helps clients dramatically improve their outlook on work and life, while improving their leadership skills and unlocking their potential.
This is not a self indulgent service.  So many times we struggle with different areas in our life: family, children, work, business...  We can't see the forest through the trees.  I help you step back to take it all in.
ADHD

The Building of Reserves


Reserve: to make arrangements so that you will be able to use or have (something, such as a room, table, or seat) at a later time - to keep (something) for a special or future use - to choose to do (something) at a later time.  "Reserve." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 10 Feb. 2016.
Reserve is an important word.  As you can see above, it's defined as something in which you make arrangements to have for later.  Something you want or require being tagged for later use, so when you need it, it's there.  The idea behind reserving something is to give you a security around the idea that I don't need to think or worry about the reserved item as I have already made plans to have it there waiting for me when it's needed.

Reserves can also be looked at from the perspective of having so much of something that there are no needs around that thing.  Lets take a simple example of toilet paper.  This is one item we use daily, and something we need to buy all the time.  Think about when you run out...  as we tend to do from time to time.  Think about how much head space and energy is required to remember to correct that, and if you forget to remedy it how much more energy you expel at the lack of it.  This is just a simple thing but we have all felt the impact of not having it.

Picture source: http://priceonomics.com/the-great-toilet-paper-scare-of-1973/

Now take this same scenario and instead of buying what you need for a few weeks, what would it feel like to have a years worth of toilet paper?  Compare the running out, to the idea of I don't have to think about this for a whole year.  What does having that reserve create for you?  I know for myself I was feeling like it was one thing off my list.  I can let it go and focus on more important things.  I have so much that my need of it becomes a non-issue; I have a years worth.  I may put it in my calendar to check closer to the years end, but I don't need to give it any consideration or energy for at least a year.  It's a freeing exercise.

Lets now consider what a reserve would look like in terms of love, friendship, opportunity, knowledge and finances.  These are pretty big areas.  Each of these have a high importance in our lives and many times we run these areas without reserves.  We feel drained by them because we don't have enough in reserve, they are a constant thought or work in progress.  What would it feel like to have a reserve of money?  What would it feel like to have enough that you didn't need to worry about it anymore?  For many this is an area of strain and strong feelings.

What small changes could you put in place today to build up a reserve in this one area?  Perhaps you could look at your finances and really know where your money is going?  Become completely aware of how much you spend on certain areas of your life.  Just get curious about why there isn't a reserve here currently.  Is it that you spend a lot on coffee, tea, going out (guilty, guilty, guilty) and if so can you put in one small rule to start going every other day and the money you would have spent on those items will now go in a jar or an account and become your reserve?  Is it that you have hit the ceiling of what you can earn and can't squeeze anymore from it?  Could you maybe look at some cost-effective online courses (i.e. Udemy, Coursera) to better your skills to give you more reserve in areas of knowledge and opportunity so that you have more choice about your employment and salary?

The idea is you create an awareness around important areas in your life and find small measurable ways to create more surplus (reserves) in those areas.  It starts with awareness, pausing to understand where you are and getting curious about how you'd like to proceed.  You'll know instinctively where you are running a deficit.  Just listen to your thoughts and feel your body when you think of the areas I listed above.  Change won't come in one big swoop; it comes in the form of small steps, moving forward.  Create reserves and, in turn, ease the drain of energy you feel in your daily lives.
awareness

Discovery of Self and the Awareness Within


Prior to 2016 ringing in, at a coffee night with a few friends, I said that my focus for the new year was going to be 'me' work. 

I try not to succumb to the story I say to myself at this point in my life, which spews off in some fashion as:

How the hell can you go through almost 40 years of your life and not be able to answer the simple question of, "What do you like to do?"
Well frankly I couldn't.  I have spent the majority of my life helping those around me.  My parents, brothers, friends and in later years my children and husband.  These are people I love dearly and I derive great satisfaction in making their life better, wherever I can.  I have done a lot of volunteer work as well; who better to help than those who are in need?  I say this not to toot my own horn, but more to say, I didn't factor in much.  That was of my own choosing.  Not that I wanted to deprive myself, more so I just felt like I was happy when others were too.

I have since had a shift in my thinking.  I am soon to finish my training as a Life Coach who specializes in ADHD and in doing so we needed to go through the process of Personal Transformation.  I've mentioned it before but it truly has been a transformative process.

I have learned some important things about myself.  These things I've learned are derived from my own life experiences, which is so powerful, because it is my own evidence.  I don't have to try and believe it, this new perspective, because to deny it is to deny my own life experience.

This change has also allowed me to see what I am tolerating in my life which drains my energy.  I have an awareness  about my lack of boundaries in some areas of my life and the rigid boundaries I have in place in others.

And so in the midst of this shift I ask myself again, "What is it I like to do, independent from my family, friends or 'shoulds'?  I decided to dedicate 2016 to my journey in exploring that question.  So many times those of us inclined to nurture and support forget about the person doing the nurturing and supporting, ourselves.

I will say that thus far this has been a HUMBLING experience.  I feel pretty vulnerable trying the new things I decided to start with.  I am a perfectionist, there is no room for that in the learning of piano for the first time.  I have high expectations of myself, there is no room for that while throwing clay on a spinning wheel.  I am hard on myself, there is no room for that on the journey of self-discovery.



While I am learning the answer to my question I also see that I need to hold a space of compassion for myself as I do for others.  I need to have patience for my own 'failures' as I learn something new, as I would for my children when they learn something new.

Most of all I feel that learning how to pause  and sit in my old stories, while not taking them on as the truth, will be my biggest work.  Being aware and creating a new story from the old.
ADHD

What have you forgotten?


In my previous post I was talking about the idea of transformation.  The evolution of self.

What does an ADHD & Nutrition Coach care about a persons internal messaging system?  What does any of this have to do with the other?  Lets explore that a minute...

I want you today, to take notice of your thoughts.  When you are trying something new or perhaps don't do something as well as you hoped, I want you to listen to the inner dialog you have with yourself around that.

What are you feeding yourself?  Are the messages negative?  Do they call you stupid or do they say things like, "There you go again, delving into something you had no business trying...".  Maybe you feel a great deal of fear in trying something new?  Perhaps the inner story is one of doubt and feeling incapable to even try.

Many times we allow these inner stories to play and re-play without any acknowledgement of them being there in the first place.  They are so comfortable.  These stories come from our past, fed to us by the environment around us.  If we have a big event in our lives it leaves its imprint on us in a very lasting way.

Part of my work with clients is to figure out what they've forgotten about themselves.  Too many times the ghosts of the past get in the way of all the good we've done on this planet.  It gets in the way of all the shiny nuggets you are entitled to remember about ourselves.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ~ Maya Angelou


The reason we sit and explore your amazing history is to show you what you already have in you, that which you may have forgotten.  It is your proof.  I help keep the waters clear so you can see yourself perfectly.

What would happen to one of my clients, wanting to make change in terms of diet or life functions, armed with the understanding of WHO they truly are?

In a word, EMPOWERMENT.
ADD

Transformation - To Go Beyond Your Current Form



Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize that in our own being, we are enough. ~ Ram Dass

I've come to realize that when a client comes to see me they are in the midst of personal transformation.  It's a pretty big step, and one that rarely gets the acknowledgement it deserves.  Anytime someone is seeking answers, challenging their existence as it is now, they are on the road of change.

Change is uncomfortable.  It itches and chafes, makes us feel things we'd really rather not and most greatly we feel the fear of "not knowing".  When we start the questioning and observing of what we currently believe it can leave us a little shaken.  THAT IS NORMAL.  To admit that we feel inferior, undeserving, unworthy, unable or without value, are things we'd rather allow cycle around in our minds, as it's familiar. 

Fear, to a great extent, is born of the stories we tell ourselves. ~ Cheryl Strayed


This, I think, is why Nutrition Coaching is not about the food, wholeheartedly.  It's not about the measurement of calories, entirely.  It's not about what diet to subscribe to or what pill to choke down.  It is my absolute belief that to make any lasting changes, it starts with the acknowledgement of the stories we believe to be true.  We aren't always conscious of them.  They are so familiar we don't hear them whisper in our ears and shape our habits and decision making.  We don't always see the sabotaging they do to our efforts and our growth.

Coaches are there to help you see, expose you to new possibilities about yourself, and most excitingly of all... help you uncover the abilities and virtues you already have.  That greatness which has been trapped under a lot of debris, waiting to be freed.  This has very little to do with Nutrition.  It is about Personal Transformation and the understanding that you are deserving of that.

Anyone can make better choices, once they uncover the factual stories of WHO they are on this planet.
changes

To the over worked adult... give yourself permission to STOP and read this.

To all the working, exhausted, trying to do 100% of all things people out there, please take this minute and read.

There will likely never be another time when you are so busy as you are right now.  You are potentially juggling a job or a business you own, children, home demands, money challenges and the stress of making it all happen. 


The reality is something has to give and I know many people unknowingly make their nutrition and exercise the sacrificial lamb. By that I mean, these are the areas in our lives we let go by the wayside because other things are deemed more important.  I'm not going to sit here and suggest that our life's work, whether that is raising our children, starting a business or advancing our career is unimportant and shouldn't have a priority. 

The question becomes though:

Can you contribute to your life in all it's forms when you are sick and exhausted?


What stories are you telling yourself that hold you back?
  1. I'm too tired
  2. There isn't enough time in the day
  3. I have way too much to do
  4. My kids come first
  5. I work too much overtime
This list is not exhaustive but it hits on some key areas of challenge, that are not made up, but are very real in all our lives.  How do we include ourselves in this list of challenge to ensure our health and wellness?

When looking at ways to change the story you may have to alter your expectations of yourself. Perhaps rather than thinking working out needs to be at a gym lifting iron, just get out for a 20 minute walk each day.  Or maybe join a Zumba class and enjoy the laughter and music for an hour a week.  You don't need to train like an Olympic athlete.  Find something - anything - you can do at home like exercise band workouts or fun movement based video games to connect and enjoy with your family.


 Give yourself the GIFT of movement to ensure you can manage the obligations of your daily life.  Movement is a stress reliever and can be as good as many antidepressants available on the market today!


Another dropped area is Nutrition.  Put your meal and snack times in your CALENDAR!  If you are like me and get so hyper-focused that you forget to eat, PLAN FOR IT!  Pack snacks daily so you have a constant supply of foods picked for you, by you.  I will tell you right now you can't operate a business or create a life of abundance without making your health and wellness a priority.

Lousy Nutrition = Lousy Performance
Attitude

Osteoporosis: Popping calcium pills won't do it folks!

Osteoporosis, or the the thinning of the bones, is a disease that will affect approximately 14 million people by 2020 if additional efforts are not made to stem this disease. Are you aware that it may be largely prevented with lifestyle considerations and treatment when appropriate? (241). http://www.iofbonehealth.org/facts-statistics

 14 million people by 2020 will have Osteoporosis if we don't change our lifestyle. 


The reality is that women are the populous most at risk here, and for a number of reasons.
  • Many women binge diet, losing weight too fast and lose the body fat required for bone health.
  • Our diets lack the proper nutrients required to build bones; the foods consumed are low in calcium.
  • Strong muscles build strong bones; women are less likely to lift weights and partake in other muscle building activities that create a strong skeletal system.
Bones need more than just calcium.  Many doctors will prescribe a high dose calcium pill and call it a day.  Unfortunately much of that calcium is wasted and excreted out in our urine.  Many of us consume too many of the the calcium depleting foods, giving little focus to the building ones.

So what are we doing now that can contribute to a diagnosis of Osteoporosis?

  • The calcium we consume is not a natural source.  It is shown that minerals, vitamins and other phytonutrients are best used by the body when derived from their natural source, not a pill.
  • We are deficient in supporting minerals: magnesium, zinc, manganese, copper and boron.  When we have an imbalance our bones weaken.  All of these are required for bone building.
  • Vitamin D is low.  Dr. Sears states in his Prime Time Health book that Prime Timers (30+) need 2000 IU daily.  Ensure it is Vitamin D3, not the other forms found.  Also consider an dropper style, oil base versus pill form to ensure absorption.
  • Too much animal protein.  Our body is always trying to keep a balance in terms of pH.  When we are too acidic from having eaten meat our body will draw on the calcium bank (AKA our bones) to balance it out.
  • Too much phosphorus.  Phosphorus is needed to build strong bones, in partnership with calcium.  The Standard American Diet has too much phosphorus present though.  Meat, processed foods and Pop/Soda are high in phosphorus, calcium will be depleted to balance it out.
  • Too much salt.  The salt seeks out calcium and both are excreted in urine.
  • Too much sugar.  This food item compels the body to excrete magnesium and calcium into the urine.
  • Too much medicine. Excess use of antacids can increase calcium loss.
  • Weak digestion.  The absorption of calcium is difficult as we age due to low stomach acid.
As Dr. Sears says, "There is more to Osteoporosis than simply downing more calcium". (Dr. Sears, Prime Time Health, page 145).


Dr. Sears, Prime Time Health, Page 148
Bone Builder Bone Breaker
Vitamin D Phosphorus
Calcium Animal Protein
Magnesium Sodium
Seafood Carbonated Beverages
Omega 3's Sweetened Beverages
Vitamin C Caffeine
Vitamin B Some Medications
Vitamin K Stress (Too much)
Folic Acid Sunlight (Too little)
Zinc Sitting (Too much)
Sun Light
Weight Bearing Exercises

What CAN you do to improve your bone health?

 There are many things you can start TODAY that will better your bone health!

  • Be good to your gut. Follow the Rule of 2's: Eat twice as often, eat half as much, and chew twice as long.  The better you chew and emulsify your food, the better it is for digestion and the easier it is for calcium and other minerals to be absorbed.
  • Feed your bones! The list below has a few options of how you can include calcium rich foods in your diet.  As we learned above we absorb and use calcium better when in it's natural form.  Not to mention many of the other minerals are found in these foods too!



Dr. Sears, Prime Time Health, Page 149
Food Calcium (Milligrams)
Yogurt, nonfat, 1 cup 450

Sardines, 3 ounces		 370
Parmesan Cheese, 1 ounce 336
Orange Juice, calcium-fortified, 1 cup 300
Tofu, 3 ounces 190
Salmon, 3 ounces canned 180
Collard Greens, 1/2 cup 180
Rhubarb, 1/2 cup 174
Spinach, 1/2 cup 136
Cereal, calcium fortified, 1/2 cup 100 - 200

  • Guidelines for Supplements: If your health practitioner is still requesting you take a supplement bear in mind these things:
    • Take in smaller doses more frequently ie: 500mg tablet twice daily
    • Calcium Citrate is usually preferred as it is better absorbed by the intestines, bypassing the stomach acid issue for some Prime Timers.
  • MOVE!!  The weaker muscular system the weaker the skeletal system.  You need to do weight bearing and muscle stretching exercises.  This triggers the body to reinforce bones which makes them stronger.

I will be supplementing this article with exercises that will help keep Osteoporosis off your radar!  Stay tuned!







Sources:
Dr. Sears, Prime Time Health, 2010.

http://www.iofbonehealth.org/facts-statistics
Exercise

Are You At Risk For a Shorter Prime Time?

First, let's define what Prime Time means.  Prime Time is defined by Dr. Sears as "the second half of your life".  As he puts it, "it's a time when the 'want to dos' start replacing the 'must dos'".

Now does Prime Time just focus on the people who are retired or close to retirement?

Prime Time health is for all adults who want to enjoy the later years of their lives.


So what exactly is this all about?  Well, like anyone wanting to have a great retirement life we (hopefully) save for our financial future.  You may be looking years down the road or perhaps retirement is close at hand, but either way you make the effort to ensure you will have enough to live on once your time in the working world is done.

So the question I ask you, and one that Dr. Sears routinely asks his patients is:

How many of you have setup your Health Retirement Savings Plan?


This plan is the one where you have taken your health into account and plan on enjoying all the years of planning and saving you did in your working life.   

Think about it...   The more you put into your "Health Retirement Savings Plan", the more time you compound to enjoy the monetary savings you so diligently save(d) for.  When you start taking your health on as a hobby you start to build up your health account.

When planning for your Prime Time you want to focus on  
Dr. Sear's Fabulous Four!
  1. Save enough money.
  2. Save enough time.
  3. Nurture your relationships.
  4. Maintain your health.

This can seem like a daunting task, can't it?  There are many reasons why you may be finding the task overwhelming:
  1. It maybe that you are feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start.  
  2. Perhaps you or your significant other is resistant to change as they like the way things are now.  
  3. Maybe you think that you can't afford the time or money you perceive this change in lifestyle would need.
  4. Or you feel that you are feeling fine at the moment and you'll get to it when you feel there is a problem to address.

Well I am here to tell you that your health and the changes you can make are possible.  You can clear the confusion and make changes, you can take small steps to better your health, you can continue shopping where you do with little change to your grocery bill, and you can make changes to your habits so that you don't experience problems later.

These changes will result in a few things:
  1. Clearer Thinking
  2. Healthier Gums & Teeth
  3. Better Breathing
  4. Leaner Body
  5. Good Gut Feelings
  6. Healthier Skin
  7. More Energy
  8. More Confidence (physically and mentally)
And best of all... A long retirement life, filled with health and doing the things you dream of doing without physical limitations.

The vital ingredient of your Prime Time plan is your health.  What are you investing in your Health Retirement Savings Plan?




For more information on the Prime Time workshop contact me and we can get started investing in your Health Retirement Savings Plan.

Sources:
Book: Dr. William Sears, MD., Prime-Time Heath
Image: http://www.baannithan.com/high-deductible-health-plan-2015-limits/
health

A World Full of Stress - Let's Get Moving!

We've read it a million times, 'Stop the Glorification of Busy'.  In our ever connected state of being we see this busy all the time, we feel this busy all the time.

Busy for me feels like a million lists in my head and the stress of trying to figure out how to accomplish it all.  How to juggle children, family, home in the mix of growing a business.  At the end of the day I feel zapped and draggy and just, STRESSED.

Feeling stressed can have many different effects on the body: weight gain due to sugary cravings brought on by stress chemicals circulating around in our delicate and sensitive systems, mood changes (such as irritability, anger and hopelessness), fatigue due to the level of clenching and tightness the body does during stressful times and mental sluggishness, to name just a few.

There are many things that we can do to correct this state of being.  The one I like the most and have used the most is exercise.  There is nothing on the planet that I find to be more of a stress buster and mood enhancer that this.  What is it about exercise that can change our Attitudes (the A in L.E.A.N.)?

From an article by Dr. Sears: "Exercise is not only good for the body, it’s great for the brain. The brain is an oxygen hog, which is why it takes 25 percent of the blood that the heart pumps (more in children). Exercise delivers more oxygen to the brain and helps all tissue, especially brain tissue, use oxygen more efficiently, which translates into better thinking. Pumping more blood to the brain stimulates the release of a group of neurochemicals, collectively called brain growth factors, which increase the production of neurotransmitters and make more receptor sites for these brain messengers to land on. Exercise is not only nature’s smart drug, it’s also nature’s Prozac. By stimulating the release of endorphins, exercise beefs up the body’s own “feel good” hormones. Endorphins are most stimulated by exercise and laughter. And the good-feeling effects of these hormones last about as long as a pill, four to six hours after exercise, and without the unpleasant medical side effects. Therapists have long prescribed exercise to pull people out of the pits of depression. So, exercise not only burns fat, it burns stress, too."

I know the thoughts of exercise during a stressful time in your life seems like the worst possible idea.  You'd likely rather just sit on the couch and watch a show or grab some treats to pick yourself up.  My challenge to you is this, rather than doing the same old habit, get up and go for a speed walk.  Get your heart rate up!  This doesn't need to be complicated and it doesn't need to take hours in a gym.  Just get outside and breathe. When you return your body will feel more relaxed,  your mind less cluttered and your mood calmer.

Photo credit: http://bestwalkingfeet.com/
Attitude

What does L.E.A.N. mean?

We hear many catch phrases as it relates to the fitness and nutrition industry.  The word "lean" is one of them.  What does it mean in terms of the L.E.A.N. programs available at Breaking Barriers Coaching?  L.E.A.N. is an acronym for Lifestyle (how you live), Exercise (how you move), Attitude (how you think) and Nutrition (how you eat).  These are the 4 pillars of health that all of the programs through the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute are based on.

Each program uses the acronym a little differently though as the needs for each group are varying in their needs.   It is important to mention there are no products being sold or special diets to incorporate during ANY of these workshops.  These workshops are ALL educationally based and affordable for all groups because of it.

The L.E.A.N Essentials Program is for caregivers who have children ages 3 - 12 years old.  If you aren't sure if you have the time to commit to the 3 or 6 week L.E.A.N. Start Program or perhaps you've seen and heard it all and nothing has really 'worked' for you or your family and are feeling skeptical... Or it just seems like too much to try and figure out and you are feeling somewhat overwhelmed.  Whatever the reason this 2 hour, one time workshop is for you!


The L.E.A.N. Start Program is for caregivers who have children ages 3 - 12 years old.  This 3 or 6 week program is unique as it focuses on the caregiver learning about the right nutrition for their children's growing body in a way that is simple and easy to implement.  It is all about education and using what the caregiver knows already and building on it.  Just healthy, nutrient dense foods from the grocery stores they presently shop from.  They become a wise consumer and their child's advocate! L.E.A.N. in this case means that you are strong and healthy.


L.E.A.N. Expectations is a 3 part workshop for expectant mothers.  It focuses on helping mothers have a healthy pregnancy, a safe birth and a smooth transition into motherhood. L.E.A.N. in this setting refers to how you choose to divide your time and the daily choices you make, being physically active during your pregnancy, keeping a positive mental outlook and the body's intake of nutrients to foster optimal health.


Lastly is the Prime Time Program.  This workshop is designed for anyone in their 40's right up to 60+.  L.E.A.N. in this setting relates to the body using it's own internal pharmacy and its ability to do so.  This helps with the prevention of disease and injury or the repair of problems already present.

Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrition are applicable to all ages and stages of life.  These programs acknowledge that and teach individuals how to consistently apply them for optimal health.
L.E.A.N. Expectations

Newly Branded but NOT to Nutrition!

I've recently passed my certification to be a Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. Start Coach.  I couldn't be more excited!

Source: http://coachfederation.org/blog/index.php/4411/

Food has always been a passion of mine, understanding the connection it has to our performance both physically and mentally.  Learning  has also been experiential in the pursuit of my own understanding, so try, try, try is my motto! Having delved into a number of food systems and tried them on for size I can say I've learned a lot of interesting things.  Just a few off the top of my head: isolating one food or type of food has it's dangers if not well read, to follow that up... not everything you read is true (seems like a no brainer I'm sure!), and not every method out there is going to be a great fit for every body.

So with the above ideas firmly etched in my mind I looked for a certification program that was EASY for the person learning the information to incorporate in their own busy life.  The Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. Programs are just that, easy to use, understand and implement.  The program needed to be focused on food, JUST food.  I wasn't interested in selling anyone ANYTHING.  I just wanted a clear way to educate without feeling like I had a motive for my suggestions.  The client's health and that of their family is what concerns me.  With my Dr. Sears Certification I get to educate; no selling of products or shakes with lofty claims and even loftier price tags.

I wanted a program I believed in and would be proud to sing from the roof tops;  I found that too.  My clients will be eating whole, nutrient dense foods, found in their own grocery stores, armed with knowledge to protect their loved ones.  Who wouldn't want a job like that?!
L.E.A.N. Start
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